I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My cat gives me a boner
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
