walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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