We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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