I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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