well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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