there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
