i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
