what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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