Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She bit a glass in half.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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