Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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