One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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