And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
