im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
