ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
