Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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