Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
