Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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