haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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