Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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