Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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