You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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