Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
