just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
