I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
