doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
it's like heaven, but drunker
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize