If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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