He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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