Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
