Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
