I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
