Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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