I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
