You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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