i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize