found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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