I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
