i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
