His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
