Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize