I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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