I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
A+ Viking dick
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
