i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
