i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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