It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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