i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
