ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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