i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
