just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Green mimosas i think yes
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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