I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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