Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
