i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
