Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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