and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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