just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
