Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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