He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
