I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
