what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize