so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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