the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
